Schmeggled

I thought of a new word today after some discussions I had yesterday.

Schmeggled- when you learn of communications about you which were not intended to reach you.

So, what to do when you’ve been schmeggled. Well, if the spirit of it was positive, it’s easy. Accept it, enjoy it. But, when it has negative connotations, it’s much more difficult to deal with. Should there be confrontation? Correction? Debate? Or, could we choose to merely accept it. And even, enjoy it. Be grateful we now know how someone feels. Consider it an unexpected gift. A gift doesn’t require a response…or, a regift.

Gift Giving

A gift is meant to be unconditional, an untethered act of care and gratitude. Most often we think of a gift as a form a payment for someone's care, generosity, friendship or selfless act. It's a response. In some cases, it's a reaction to their gift. And, it becomes an exchange...a symbol of mutual thanks and respect. In any case, an offering of gratitude to someone we know is first and foremost an empathetic act, and one which shouldn't require a response, but sometimes comes with one.

The gifts which are less talked about are those we offer to strangers. It might be a simple smile to a passerby. Or, it might be extra effort at work to help a colleague. It might be the gift of life for a child we yet do not know. Or, it might be making a customer feel extra special. These generous acts are also unconditional, which is what makes them gifts. Otherwise, they're deposits, investments with hopes of a return.

People which choose a true gift giving posture as their culture are often referred to as "kind people". They seem to care more. It's helpful to recognize and emphasize their choice to act this way. They don't have to. And, no, they aren't genetically predisposed to be this way. They simply want to. They want to serve someone. Perhaps, they haven't always been this way (there's a good chance they have not). Perhaps, they developed habits of gratitude through practice and persistence because they understood the benefits of a gift giving culture. Perhaps, they stumbled along the way, but found a way to carry on. Perhaps it's what drives them, excites them and makes them happy.

The benefits of unconditional generosity are undeniable. Gift givers are more successful on every measure. And those around them are as well. And, the only cost is to care first for another more than ourselves. We know this to be tough...merely look at the world around us. Regretfully, we might not even need to look too far.

Every day we can choose to change things for the better. And adopting a gift giving posture is a good way to start...and to end. Choose wisely.

I Made This

...for you.

In the season of giving, it's a good reminder to reflect on what the gift is for...to show gratitude with a personal marker, something which will serve as a reminder of the meaning and purpose of our relationship.

There was a time when almost everything was personally made. Desire, effort and skill manifested itself into something useful for another. Mostly driven by economics, the things we needed, like shoes, tools and bicycles, became the products of factories and machines. This was quite useful, serving the demands of a growing and more prosperous population. Now, we can make more things quickly than ever before. And often we can make them better in terms of quality and lifespan. But, not counting engraving, we hardly ever make them more personal.

A growing opportunity exists then, especially in gift giving, to fulfill the purpose of personal connection and meaning with something crafted...something slightly askew, something flawed, something which can't be easily replicated...something from me to you.

It's unlikely there's a better chance to show someone how much you care...here, I made this.

The Gift of Discovery

The best discoveries I've ever made have been off the beaten path. Whether people, projects or places, the story has always been the same. Plan a journey, get forced (or sometimes choose to go) off course and cool things happen. Sometimes it's a conversation with a stranger. Sometimes it's an unplanned topic of conversation with a friend. Sometimes it's a wrong turn while running or biking in an unfamiliar town. And sometimes it's forcing myself to ask risky questions or to take the time to go the long way. But almost every time the outcome is the same. I meet interesting people, learn new points of view, see interesting things…and learn a whole lot along the way.

So even though I'm sometimes annoyed by the process of the detour, in the end I'm glad I took it.

One of the best gifts you can give yourself is the element of surprise through discovery. It only costs a bit of time and an open mind...rarely much else. I hope you let yourself wander…the journey is indeed priceless.

The Art of Gift Giving

The foundation of hospitality is gift giving...doing more for others than for yourself. What is often overlooked is timing...giving when it's most important for the recipient and not necessarily convenient for you. There's very little art in heaping on the expected smiles, catch phrases and giving someone trinkets. The art happens when you go out of your way to do something meaningful...for the moment. That's remarkable. Unfortunately, you can't do this by reading a script. It requires expertise in picking up clues and then acting upon them. Oddly enough, the clues are gifts themselves. So it becomes an exchange...call it improv. The key is to do something, to act, perhaps go out on a limb, to complete the exchange. Without action, the gift of the clue is wasted. What a shame. 

What makes the story of the video so remarkable is the surprise action by the young man at the end. The real heros might be his parents...thank you.