self control

Self Control

Most of us don’t have a problem with not doing the daily tasks necessary to live comfortably. We take showers, eat and produce enough work to earn an income. And while we take a break on occasion, we don’t need much coercion to obey this system of rules and order. It’s understood these actions are necessary to prevent problems, real problems like embarrassment, hunger, shame and even death. The discipline to do them is baked in…no need to think much about it. These things are both important…and urgent.

But once we move beyond mission critical tasks, self control is in jeopardy. Now, we're dealing more and more with desired outcomes, the consequences of which are too distant or unknown to compel action. Even something simple like making our bed each day falls victim to inaction because once our parents aren’t looking anymore, the immediate consequence of being scolded has vanished. 

A common reason given for inaction is a lack of discipline or self-control over emotions and desires, i.e., watching TV vs. doing work. When we fail to get the important things done, it’s helpful to understand the components of what is actually holding us back...

Desire- How much do we really want to reach the finish line? What’s at stake? How does this change over time (desire fade)? Is the outcome part of our legacy? Is it important? Or, merely urgent?

Consequence Time Shifting- What happens when we don’t finish? How do we bring this part of our future forward so we can feel it now? How can we feel it every day?

Habit Pro- How do we develop small habits, which will turn into larger ones, which will become part of our make-up, which will get us to the finish line? What habits can we fall in love with which will help us achieve our goals? And, which habits do we need to show-up and do even when we don’t feel like it? How do we become a professional at these habits?

Perhaps we can gain more self control by…

  • Creating legacy driven goals.

  • Making the pain of not achieving them real now. 

  • Developing small habits which we will do every day to build momentum and achieve success along the way.