The Next One

What will our next conversation be like? The next introduction? The next interview or sales pitch? Will it be approached exactly like the last one? Or, can we make it better?

It's easier to modify physical things because the specifications are definable and measurable. We can make it smoother, rounder, stronger or more pliable. The impact and value of a conversation however is much harder to determine. The only measurement is how we make someone feel. And this in itself is hard to measure. There's no scale for delight, empathy or compassion. It's completely individual. But, despite the lack of spec, we can try harder. We can become a better listener, more friendly, more approachable and more compassionate. We can make small adjustments and watch how people respond. Caring more about how we interact might be the most important choice we get to make.

We can't measure the clicks of the ratchet, but we know turning it will make things better. It almost certainly isn't going to make it worse.

We can't change the last one. But, we can use it to influence the next one...if we choose to.

Can We Make It Better?

Some things can't be improved. We can't make our height, our place of birth or the job we left last year any better. It's tempting to add things like temperament, public speaking, creativity, drawing, playing music and hearing tone to this list. These are often referred to as talents or gifts, which are somehow naturally bestowed upon us at birth. Hogwash. This is just a way of hiding and avoiding the fear of failing, which is what's required to get better.

If we can learn about it, practice it and measure our progress, we can get better at it. If we can see our future self becoming more approachable, more generous, better at giving and receiving feedback, playing an instrument, singing in front of people, articulating clear points or being a better rower, the only thing stopping us from getting there is our choice to not make it a priority to do so. It has nothing to do with natural talent.

We need to be mindful of the possibilities we rule out...because the list is probably shorter than we think.